There is his poem that I have fallen in love with, and recently that is all I can listen to. It doesn't necessarily apply to anything but then again it does.
As I stand on this street corner and watch these two roads meet i suddenly feel at peace
Maybe it's because at my feet lies the intersection of two distinct paths merging at a point of vulnerability
Maybe because it's a reminder of you and me, and the blissful bond we once shared
Without a care in the world, my arms wrapped around you to shelter you from the cold
Two souls kept warm by each others company
Two hearts dancing in the rain playfully
Two minds with the same thing in mind, you want me to be yours and i want you to me mine
I don't know maybe i'm crazy
Maybe time has finally out played me
Maybe i've stopped seeing beauty in the little things
Maybe i've stopped appreciating the gift life brings
Maybe i'm in over my head,
Or maybe i just miss the familiar contours of your body under the chalk white sheets of my bed
I don’t know, maybe this is normal
Maybe i stopped being myself after you left,
Maybe this is all a test
Maybe i failed and i couldn't clean up the mess
Maybe that's why the rain suddenly feels colder on my skin
Maybe that's why whenever i try to apologize i don’t know where to begin or where to end all these things that i typed up in my mind and i wanna tell you but i just can't bring myself to hit "send".
Maybe i fucked up and i won't admit it
Maybe i'm a coward
Seems like i've got all the time in the world maybe i should do something about it
I mean, every minute feels like an hour
Maybe i'm a fool for distancing myself from you
Maybe that’s why i couldn't admit i loved you
Because for some reason i couldn't accept that maybe,
just maybe,
You might have loved me too.
I know we aren’t together anymore. I feel like people don't realize what they had until it is gone. You became such a constant in my life, someone that I would go to for anything that was bothering me. Someone I would go to for anything that made me happy. You were the person I first thought about in the morning and the last person I thought about at night. You are the person who consumes my thoughts. I see things now and I think of you, because everything reminds me of you. I want to share every bit of my day with you and I want to tell you about the weird thing I did. I want to tell you all about the embarrassing moments. I want to tell you the stupid things I said. I want to share everything with you but I can't. I can't do that anymore because we aren't together. You might be thinking, but we’re friends. That's the thing though...I don't think I can be friends with you. I love you too much, which might seem crazy but you made me fall for you fast. I can't look at you as a friend without wanting you. And gosh I want to be friends with you but I don't want to become annoying to you. I don't want you to think that I am crazy for texting you so often. I don't want you to think that I’m still in the mindset that we are still dating, because I know we aren't...but I still want there to be an us. But you don't want that. I don't think you will ever want that again. And I don't know if you stopped feeling the way I feel for you, but I hope not. But the probability of that is so slim...and I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't want you to feel so bad that you have to tiptoe around my feelings. I am just so confused. I don't understand how things can go from one place to now. How can you go from loving someone to not wanting to be with them. Was any of this real?
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