Daily Diary 29

Your words haunt me. Flashing in front of my eyes,echoing in my mind, whispering into my ears. Those words hurt,they were not mean,they were not meant to hurt. But just the idea of you saying that...hurts  more than anything. I can not imagine what would happen if you actually went through with it. 

Daily diary 28

I know I'll never have a chance with you. I know you will never see me like that. There are much more beautiful girls around you to choose from, even though I could be good for you. I'm not as popular, or as pretty as those other girls. I'm a nerd, a nobody, who reads books all day an wears glasses. I fangirl over things,like anime,fanfictions and tons of other things that are not "cool". So I know I'll never have a chance with you.

Daily diary 27

If you think about it society controls everything. You have the stereotypical cliches like women are delicate,supposed to be at home,take care of the children etc...while that has changed over the years it really hasn't. Little girls grow up playing with baby dolls,dressing up and really being protected from the world. It's just strikes me as weird now that I'm older...how I used to pretend to go through child birth when I was younger with friends...I don't know if this made sense it was just a mere thought that was not properly conveyed...  

Daily diary 26

Well by now you all know of my life. The basis of what I feel, how I am going through this...event in my life. Although by now it's getting tiring...I'm done...down for the count...and I can't do it anymore. One thing after another and it hurts more and more as I go on.
I not only hurt you tonight but I hurt my self...I'm so sorry...so so sorry...I know I'll never be able to take that back, such a small gesture, literally broke us apart...all the bonds we had built up again...gone. But I can't just keep forgiving you...and it breaks my heart to know that you are going through pain...but so am I...and your making it worse. So now what do I do, I don't want to leave...I have an amazing life here...my friends who are like my family are here...my amazing school that I got accepted into is here...your here...but I'm slowly loosing my mind being here...I don't want to go....I don't want to...but what am supposed to do...nothing? I just don't know anymore.

Daily diary 25

I am drowning. I am so deep I can't breath. I can feel the waves of emotion pulling me to and fro, up and down,side to side. I can feel the soft water caress my skin as I float down...down to the cold depths of my mind. My hair flittering an floating around my face, my arms and legs wafting around, my eyes open seeing the golden orbs of sun light glitter above the waters surface. I'm not breathing...but Everyone around me is. I'm drowning in my own mind.