Daily Diary 93

I feel like I am questioning everything now. Did you really like me? Did I mean anything to you? Did you really love me? Was it something I made up in my head? Did you just feel bad for me? Was it something you did just for the time you were here? Did you move on already? Does this even hurt for you? Do you feel any of this pain? Are you okay? Why? Maybe I was just so stupid that I miss read everything, and had this big expectation about us. Maybe I was stupid and didn't realize that you didn't really want this. And because of that I now feel numb...heartbroken. Why would you tell me that you love me if you don't mean it? Don't tell me something like that because I'll do something stupid like believe it. I fell in love with you, I fell hard and now I have to pick up the pieces. And the crazy thing is that I still love you! I want to be angry with you and upset and I want to hate you but I just can't. I can't get mad at you. I can't hate you. And I am beating myself up over the fact that I still miss you and that all I want right now is you, but I can't have you because you're not mine. I'm just sad. And just because we are not together doesn't mean I won't love you. God you were...ugh I don't know. I just don't even know how to really put my thoughts into words right now. But thank you for loving me and giving me the we had together.