Daily diary 14

An idea. An inspiring idea, thought, story. I had watched a movie tonight and it was interesting to say the least. I did not get it at first but as I sit here now thinking about it, I finally see it a bit more clearly. The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I really enjoyed the movie and it brought out something in me that I had not felt in a while,mixed in with a lot of other emotions like fear, and anger, and hurt, and frustration, and so many other thins that I could just...I don't know. Tonight's daily diary is different I'm not talking in critics or being creative and writing in a wonderful way of expressing my emotions so that I can also have it relate to others, relate it to other so they can feel like someone gets them. I want to put me out here for now. Because for the first time I want to be creative for myself I want to express my way of thinking and although this is making no sense right now or well that's how it feels like...

“This moment will just be another story someday.”

That's how I feel, my life, this year, this month, this day, these days to come... My life will be just another story to be nixed into the countless others. The feelings I feel now are real and fresh and I can't eat them out of my head. They won't leave and I don't think they will for a long time. And while I half pretend to be happy I feel like dirt and I feel worthless, I feel lonely and worried and scared. Scared of what might happen and what will come of the decisions that are going to be made. I wish my life were a movie, a book, a song, because then it would be out there and be more inspiring then just being a blog where no one reads it unless I actually read it to them. Maybe it would help someone, save someone even. Who knows...maybe. I look at people sometimes and I wonder things like what are they thinking about, what are they doing here, what do they want to do, what are they going to do, what will they do, what is their purpose. I don't reach many conclusions but it's interesting to think about. I guess this is just me venting because this post has a meaning but yet it doesn't. I'm tired but I'm not tired...I think to much but that's not always bad. I think about things from the past often, mostly bad things... I should really think about other things. I guess that's it really my thoughts are all written or typed and it's done. Thanks for listening.