Daily diary 30

It hurts...it hurts that you won't stand up for your self or try to improve anything...and you know what I'm tired...I'm tired of you not doing anything for you, for me or for anyone, I'm tired of having to be responsible, I'm tired of being disappointed, I'm tired of forgiving...but I know I always will because I crave your attention. I crave your affection and love and everything a mother should give...yet here I am being the mother and pushing mine away...I'm losing hope fast,I'm losing my self. I question everything,your love,your mind,you choices and decisions...everything. I am at a loss,because even before I had at least a slight idea of what to do but now I have literally nothing. Nothing but running, and I would hate to run from this...but it's what I do best...