Daily Diary 50

"I hope no one who reads this book has been quite as miserable as Susan and Lucy were that night: but if you have been - if you have been up all night and cried till you have no more tears left in you - you will know that there comes in the end a sort of quietness. You feel as if nothing is ever going to happen again." (The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. pg183.)

Daily Diary 49

I am fascinated with death. For some odd reason I'm fascinated with the concept and the feelings that come with it. I start to obsess over it, wanting to know everything...needing to know everything. How, when, where...why. I like to feel the pain, I like to know the pain, I like to see the pain. How people grieve the different emotions that pass through them. It's fascinating to me. 

Daily Diary 48

Those days are long gone and yet I still want to remember them...I yearn for them. I want to remember how happy I was and how amazing it was to be with all of you. You all became my family and I will never forget that...I don't want to forget that. So I will grab onto those memories and I will store them away and keep them for forever 

Daily Diary 47

I want to remember. I want to relive those blissful moments, those sweet tender moments that we shared together. I was to be with you again. To catch your stares, to feel you again, to hear your voice. I want to be in your embrace again and feel you close to me. I want to see your smile and how your eyes shine when you speak. I want to remember you and I. I want to remember you. 

Daily Diary 46

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm confused and hurt and lost. Although I'm more lost than anything. I don't know where I am or where I'm going. I don't know which way to turn to or which direction to go. I don't know what is left or right I don't know what is up or down. I'm lost...I'm disoriented...I'm confused... 

Daily Diary 45

When I see you the World stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow. The World just stops and it is a beautiful place and there is only you. Just you, and my eyes staring at you. 

- James Frey, A Million Little Pieces 

Daily diary 44

I feel like I'm at constant war with my self. I'm depressed and always anxious and I feel like I'm going to explode. I cannot handle anymore stress then I already have. I want a normal life I just want to not have any special thing to me anymore...I'm done. I'm moving I want out of here...far far away from here as I can get will make me very happy extremely happy. I will regret it some,yes but in the long run...for my health I will be doing what's right