Daily Diary 31

Maybe I'm being to stubborn,well I most likely am but it's my favorite show. It's practically my life and it means a lot. I want good seats I've always said that. I would rather not have horrible seats with people who quite frankly annoy me and have no care for the show or the arts. Yes they may be cheap but that's exactly it why am I going to see a show in seats I don't want and can't see from... I'm sorry but you can talk behind my back and every thing I don't care this is something Im getting my way.

Daily diary 30

It hurts...it hurts that you won't stand up for your self or try to improve anything...and you know what I'm tired...I'm tired of you not doing anything for you, for me or for anyone, I'm tired of having to be responsible, I'm tired of being disappointed, I'm tired of forgiving...but I know I always will because I crave your attention. I crave your affection and love and everything a mother should give...yet here I am being the mother and pushing mine away...I'm losing hope fast,I'm losing my self. I question everything,your love,your mind,you choices and decisions...everything. I am at a loss,because even before I had at least a slight idea of what to do but now I have literally nothing. Nothing but running, and I would hate to run from this...but it's what I do best...

Daily Diary 29

Your words haunt me. Flashing in front of my eyes,echoing in my mind, whispering into my ears. Those words hurt,they were not mean,they were not meant to hurt. But just the idea of you saying that...hurts  more than anything. I can not imagine what would happen if you actually went through with it. 

Daily diary 28

I know I'll never have a chance with you. I know you will never see me like that. There are much more beautiful girls around you to choose from, even though I could be good for you. I'm not as popular, or as pretty as those other girls. I'm a nerd, a nobody, who reads books all day an wears glasses. I fangirl over things,like anime,fanfictions and tons of other things that are not "cool". So I know I'll never have a chance with you.

Daily diary 27

If you think about it society controls everything. You have the stereotypical cliches like women are delicate,supposed to be at home,take care of the children etc...while that has changed over the years it really hasn't. Little girls grow up playing with baby dolls,dressing up and really being protected from the world. It's just strikes me as weird now that I'm older...how I used to pretend to go through child birth when I was younger with friends...I don't know if this made sense it was just a mere thought that was not properly conveyed...  

Daily diary 26

Well by now you all know of my life. The basis of what I feel, how I am going through this...event in my life. Although by now it's getting tiring...I'm done...down for the count...and I can't do it anymore. One thing after another and it hurts more and more as I go on.
I not only hurt you tonight but I hurt my self...I'm so sorry...so so sorry...I know I'll never be able to take that back, such a small gesture, literally broke us apart...all the bonds we had built up again...gone. But I can't just keep forgiving you...and it breaks my heart to know that you are going through pain...but so am I...and your making it worse. So now what do I do, I don't want to leave...I have an amazing life here...my friends who are like my family are here...my amazing school that I got accepted into is here...your here...but I'm slowly loosing my mind being here...I don't want to go....I don't want to...but what am supposed to do...nothing? I just don't know anymore.

Daily diary 25

I am drowning. I am so deep I can't breath. I can feel the waves of emotion pulling me to and fro, up and down,side to side. I can feel the soft water caress my skin as I float down...down to the cold depths of my mind. My hair flittering an floating around my face, my arms and legs wafting around, my eyes open seeing the golden orbs of sun light glitter above the waters surface. I'm not breathing...but Everyone around me is. I'm drowning in my own mind.